Dirty Girl
Why is Feminism the dirtiest word ever? It seems that when stated, it gives most people the shivers, women included. Back when I worked at the restaurant, I'd bring in feminist literature to read on my dinner break and it elicited the strangest responses from people. A young woman I worked with told me that she'd informed her douchebag boyfriend that I was a feminist and here's the conversation that took place:
C: Yeah, I told Mark you're a feminist, and he was like, 'groan! One of those bitches?' But don't worry, I reassured him you weren't like, you know, one of THOSE feminists.
Me: Well...I AM one of THOSE feminists...I've become militant to the max.
C: (Laughes) No, Frankie. I mean, you know, THOSE feminists...the ones that are all...'GRR. Feminism.' You know, the ones that can't take a joke?
Me: And by joke, you mean sexual harassment?
Seriously. I often hear, "Oh, I hate feminists," from women that expect to be paid as much as men for doing the same job, or from women that vote, or go to college, or, you know, expect to not be beaten or raped. What the fuck?
A few months ago I read a great editorial in the Milwaukee Journal by Leonard Parker, I believe, regarding feminism and his highschool daughter. He wrote that his daughter is an honors student, plans to attend college (and has many prestigious schools to choose from), plays several highschool sports and is involved with various clubs, wants a career, etc. He asked her if she considers herself a feminist and was surprised to see her wrinkle her nose and shake her head vehemently and say, "NO, Dad, I hate feminists." He had a great line, it was something like,
"How many women turn their noses up at feminism while sitting and dining at a table feminism has prepared for them?" It bothered me somewhat that a dude could understand this concept more than a lot of women--women that shun feminists, though they want the same things. It's even more pathetic when dudes are all, "Waah! Angry feminists! I'm so threatened by their desire for equal treatment and lack of abuse in the system! Waah!" I had a friend who took a Poli-Sci course from some male professor, and on the first day of class he said, "So...we got any feminists in here? Any man-haters?" She was far too lenient. I would have seriously given that fucker a piece of my mind. To me, when he says that, he's basically saying, "Ok, so...do we have any women in here that hate men so much that they actually want to VOTE, and have a right to BE HERE in a UNIVERSITY, and have a right to not be sexually abused? WHY oh WHY do you HATE US MEN SO MUCH???!!!" Angry now.
6.02.2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I would have dropped the course and reported the professor to the women's center or any other applicable office. At least, I hope I would have. It would have been a difficult moment to say the least. Is he still teaching? Personally, I say its never too late to report these kinds of things. Or at least warn female students to not take his classes.
I don't know if he still teaches--I know he was new when she took his class. I wouldn't have reported him, but only because I would have taken immense pleasure in humiliating him in class instead. But that could just be my failing...
I probably would have just sucked it up, gotten the credit for the dumb requirement, and moved on with my life. I'm not actually that brave.
Love that quote about the dinner table thingy and I always look for his articles when I get the journal!
This isn't totally n par with feminism, but another ism that drives me nuts!
When student teaching for middle school history the mentor teacher (more like the guy who taught me everything NOT to do) said this, "Puerto Rico will never be annexed because Americans don't like Hispanics and they won't ever be good enough to qualify as state." I took the matter up with my adviser at college who said I should meet with the principal. I wish I never would have. they made my however many weeks there hell. The principal hated me and my mentor pretty much enslaved me and gave me work 10 times the requirements for student teaching and there was nothing I could do about it! Anyways, sometimes reporting things just makes them that much worse. I'm extremely cautious to call people out on anything now.
Yeah, I think Lise brings up a really good point. I try to pick my battles, and I guess I probably would with some dumb-ass college professor when you're not worried about your grade in the class, but it's really a dangerous thing to make waves in a society that doesn't support what you're spreading. Yes, it's awesome to be ideological and make little differences here and there, but you have to make sure that this life that you've built for yourself can withstand the risks that you're taking. *sigh* I know I'm being negative, but I'm finding it to be truer and truer.
That said, I think it's much easier to make your dollars speak for you...which is what the crazy christ peeps have figured out. Support businesses that support you, I guess...and let the subtleties of your character seep into people who are receptive to it.
Jamie, I totally love that quote, "dining at the table...". I'm going to use it. It's so funny you wrote this post, because just this morning I was talking to my friend who is extremely feminist but would never admit it. Today she was joking around with me and slipped in a, "oh, you feminists...". It actually makes my blood boil that she separates herself from people like us, because she IS us. But I won't make waves, because she's a great woman and an awesome friend. I'll just keep being me and slowly let small comments slip here and there to infuse her with my feminism :) But I *did* want to bitch-slap her. And kind of still do.
In high school I would have wrinkled my nose and said, "NO, I'm not a feminist! Eeew!" And that's because the only image of feminist I'd ever seen, up to that point, WAS the man-hating bra-burning bitch. I didn't realize -- because nobody had ever told me -- that feminism had a much broader definition. Once I learned what feminism REALLY was, in college, it dawned on me that, oh yeah, I definitely AM a feminist.
I think the tables began to turn second semester of my senior year, after staring at Mrs. Ghanz's "Feminism is the belief that women are people too" bumper sticker hanging above the chalkboard. Until then, nobody had EVER voiced that sentiment to me -- and even then, I didn't really GET it, because I just thought it was a smart-ass bumper sticker. Like I said...college was when I really got it, because that was the first time anyone had ever talked about it in my presence as anything other than the stereotype.
Backlash is a real threat, but nobody really won anything real without making sacrifices. (Look up Alice Paul, for instance) So we need to pick our battles wisely and also pick our methods wisely. Thats why I wouldn't speak out in class, but instead report it to a sympathetic agency of some sort. I'd certainly inform feminist groups on campus, and all of my friends. I might say something to the professor like "feminists don't hate all men, but this one can see why so many of us can't stand you, specifically."
Post a Comment